Tori's Big Adventure, Or How The Big Red Dope Locked Me Out

[Tori dictated today's blog]: So, The Big Red Dope propped the front door open this afternoon when she got home from somewhere.  We let her leave the house once a day - if we don't, she gets a little cranky.  So instead of the yard, I decided to use the place that smells AWESOME where all the other dogs pee, and left the apartment.  I'm 15 years old - I don't need to sign any log book when I leave the house!  I took my time sniffing around the stairs and shrubs in the big square with walls.
 
When I got back to the front door, it was closed!  I could hear talking inside, so I barked.  And then I scratched.  Nothing.  I waited 5 minutes.  I scratched again.  I heard the Dope open the sliding glass door to the yard - where I was not - and I heard her slide the door shut.  I barked again.  She is not very bright, and doesn't speak Dog, but you don't need to be a genius to understand 'HEY' in any language, do you?  I waited 5 more minutes, and I barked again. 

And finally the Big Red Dope opened the front door, and said, like it was a big shocker, "Oh my god, you're outside!  What are you doing out here?"  She was still on the phone, and I didn't want to embarrass her, so I wasn't gonna say anything, but then she says to me, "You can't just wander outside without telling anyone!  I didn't know where you were!"
 
Well, I knew where I was, sister!  I was standing outside the front door!